Choices

Sometimes it is hard.  Sometimes life gives us what we see to be a bad hand.  Sometimes we choose poorly. 
Life has been that way.  Relationship failure and job stress can make you feel pretty crappy.

I choose to dwell on the negative.  Diet followed, training followed.  Part of me wanted to change, but not enough.

Then after a night of no sleep, and low emotional defenses I became exactly who I didn't want to be, who I have struggled to not be.  I didn't like it, but it was my choice to walk that road.

After that I realized that I need to choose who I wanted to be.  I needed to be that guy who was in control of himself.  I needed to focus on where I was going, and the positives in my life.

Good friends
New friends
Being knighted
Having a job
Having a place to live
Having people care about me.

Choose who you want to be.  Sometimes the road may be rough, but if it was easy it wouldn't mean anything.